Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
