I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i now understand why vodka
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