Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
