FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
