Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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