last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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