I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
