omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
