Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
