just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
