Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
