there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
