you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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