Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
