I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
