I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
