Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Girls should come with a carfax report
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
