Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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