after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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