you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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