let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
