You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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