doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
