its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
