yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Randomize