Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
