Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I wish i was in the wii world.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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