Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I have already put on my inside pants.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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