I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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