Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
