I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I believe in your delicious
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
