I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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