I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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