Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
