it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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