He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
