THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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