I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
