Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
