I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
