K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
