take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
