hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
