I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
