So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
