you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
