being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
