Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
