Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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