If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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