I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
