"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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